It always seems impossible until it’s done.
So a while ago, I finished Origins, and I received some excellent feedback on the manuscript from a Beta reader I’ve been looking forward to reading my story. I’ve worked on it, but now I’m in the process of submissions for this manuscript. Which includes a lot of waiting — the hardest part for me. I am not the most patient person, but I am learning how to be.
Beyond the pain of waiting is the pain of feeling like you’ll never succeed. I realized as I checked my email for the millionth time in a single day, that I was feeding into the wolf of insecurity. I could focus on what might happen, or I could turn my energies into the arts of creation. Whether that be through jewelry making or writing or what. It is hard because I am my own worst enemy. I tell myself that I am not good enough and I’ll never succeed and get what I dreamed.
I AM good enough. I need to stop feeding the wolf of insecurity and feeding a different wolf. So whenever I’ve found myself riddled with doubt, I’ve focused on a new story, new world idea. I get two weeks off from work, so I’m going to spend that time researching all submission avenues now that I have successfully written my synopsis over the weekend as well as spending time world building.
I have a tablet I got last Christmas, and I’m going to use that to draw out my maps and flesh out this new world. I’m excited!
Oh and I’ll probably play copious amounts of WoW. It will, however, be a good time for my brain to recharge and formulate new words and new worlds.