After two years in the making, I have finally written the final word on this Manuscript.  The Fucking End.  Only it’s not, right?  This is the first mountain, and it might feel like the largest peak to scale, but even that’s not true.  Now it’s time for the first readers to get the book and assess the book and tell you all the things you did right.  And all the things you did wrong.  Right and wrong are trigger words that give highs and lows depending on who likes the work you do.

I need to remember my core belief:  You can’t please 100 percent of the world 100 percent of the time.  There are always going to be people who don’t like what you’ve done.  Stories are personal and subjective.  However, I am fully prepared to learn from even the people who don’t like what I’ve made.  In every walk of life, I believe, we have the opportunity to learn and grow.  I expect to grow a lot in the coming weeks as I start thinking about where and how I want my story to find a place within the larger book world.

I need to start asking questions like:

  • Do I self-publish?
  • Do I find an agent?  Try to get into an agent-only publishing house?
  • Do I submit to an indie publisher?  
  • What are the pros and cons of all publishing options?

The part of me that’s terrified wants me to say the book isn’t ready, regardless what beta readers may say.  It’s the part of me that says, “No, no, you need to re-write it from the beginning again to make it even better!”  The other part of me recognizes the fear talking.  Maybe I do need to re-write the book once more, but if I do, then I need to make sure that it’s for the good of the story and not to hide behind my fear of rejection.

So here I sit, both delighted and exhausted to be ‘done.’  I know it’s not really ‘done,’ but for right now I can go no further without feedback.  It’s time to relax, have some coffee, play with my kittens, and make more jewelry for a bit.  I’ve earned a respite while I await feedback.

Write on.

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