The hardest part of writing is to not second guess yourself, I suppose. I had completed the entirety of the manuscript and handed it off to a beta reader, though I suppose she ended up being more of an alpha reader. I was really excited and the feedback I received was positive, but through some of her reactions, I realized that I could firm up the story. I wasn’t entirely happy with some of the elements of the overall story. I wanted to evoke real, raw emotion. When a character goes through the pain of watching someone die, I don’t want the overall feeling to be “ho-hum.” I want it to be raw, brutal, and evocative of real emotion.
I didn’t feel I’d achieved that. Not really. So I went back and tore into the back half of the story. I added that raw emotion, and I mapped out a different ending that was more engaging, and less rushed.
But the problem I ran into is really a classic problem. How do you know when the voice you’ve chosen to write in, is the right one? I began tossing back the pros and cons between first person and third person. First Person really let me get into the character’s heads, but was it enough? Was it enough for the audience? Did it have longevity over the life of the actual story?
I chose to tell the original story in alternating first person POVs between two characters. It works for this story because they are in separate places. However, if they come together, does it still make sense? Will the reader lose interest if the second book doesn’t have the same POV? Will it make sense? Can I switch from two POVs into one POV?
Or does it make more sense to re-write the story in third person, because it’s easier to swap POVs in third person than it is in first. It is also easier to drop a POV in third person than it is in first person.
I am in the forest of Doubt. I doubt the choice I’ve made and the vehicle I’ve chosen to tell this tale in. Until I figure that out, I am not nearly as complete as I thought I was.
Which way do I go? I’m not entirely sure, and I linger in indecision paralysis. I’ve re-written the first chapter in third person and sent it off to my alpha reader. Plus the edited / polished chapter in first person. I’m hoping her reaction provides insight into where to go. What road to take.
I am Dorothy and I feel like I have the ruby slippers but I can’t find the yellow brick road.